Trivial Pursuit
by scrub456
Summary: A "missing scene" from Infinity War. What happens between deciding on a plan and Thanos finally showing up on Titan? Earth's mightiest fanboys play Trivial Pursuit while the "grown ups" talk, of course. *contains spoilers for the movie, one shot*


***Author's Note***

This story is the result of a conversation about Quill and Parker being fanboys. I thought it would be funny if they played Trivial Pursuit together. Notjustmom said I had to write it. So, here it is.

* * *

"I don't like it, Strange." Tony crossed his arms over his chest and flinched, still not used to the new hardware installed in his chest.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, despite the gravitational pull of your ego, the universe doesn't _actually_ revolve around what Tony Stark does and does not like."

"That's rich, Doctor-I'd-Let-Thanos-Murder-A-Child-Before-I'd-Give-Up-My-Bling." Tony took a menacing step forward and motioned behind him to where the others were huddled together. "I may have delusions of grandeur, but even I know you don't say that _to_ the kid. What kind of sociopath are you?"

"Apparently the high functioning kind.*" Stephen didn't make eye contact as he continued rapidly opening and closing tiny portals. "And what I said stands. One life, his, yours, or mine, makes no difference if in turn we can save the lives of everyone else in the universe."

"So this is the plan? We're going along with Han Solo** over there? The guy's an idiot. And a douche." Tony pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Imagine that, Stark doesn't like someone who actually shows up with a plan." Stephen did glance up then. "You hijacked an alien vessel and stranded us on a dead planet. _Very_ logistically sound."

" _You_ want to give the genocidal overlord the one thing we have in our arsenal that might actually win this fight!" He leaned in and tapped the Eye of Agamotto hanging in the center of Stephen's chest. The Cloak smacked his hand away and pushed him back a step.

Stephen smiled discretely. "He has to believe he's got the upper hand." Enlarging the portal, he stared into it. "It's the _one,_ Stark. Our one scenario with any hope. I'm sorry, but I know what I saw." He turned the portal so Tony could see into it as well.

With a resigned sigh, Tony shook his head. "I still don't like it."

"Neither do I. But the longer we keep him occupied here, the more time your compatriots will have to…"

They were interrupted by Drax shouting behind them. Parker and Mantis both looked stunned and Quill was doubled over, his shoulders heaving.

"Drax, you a-hole. It's a hologram. You can't swipe the board clear!***" Quill continued laughing. Despite herself, Mantis giggled behind her hands.

"Do not laugh at me, Quill." Drax growled and started to stand.

"Hey, man, it's okay. It's just a game." Parker maintained a straight face as he placed a hand on Drax's arm.

"Do not touch me, insect child!" Yanking his arm away, Drax lumbered to standing and attempted to kick the offending game board, the holographic image only temporarily wavered. "Impossible Earth games for impossible Earth _babies._ "

"Hey!" Quill shouted.

"Dude, calm down. He's not wrong." With a shrug, Parker drew a new card from the box.

"I'm not a baby. _You're_ not a baby, I mean, not really."

"Yeah, thanks. I think. But it is a game from Earth, and I'm guessing he's _not_ from Earth." Parker smiled up at Drax. "And I know how it feels when people laugh at you, people laugh at me all the time. You just have to get over it. Be better than they are."

"I am already better than Quill at _most_ things." Slowly Drax took his seat.

"Hey!" Quill flipped Drax off.

"I can become invisible." Holding almost, but not quite still, Drax grinned.

"Really? That's so cool!" Parker watched in anticipation and turned to Quill when nothing seemed to happen.

Quill faked a cough, shook his head minutely, and mouthed, "No he can't." He cleared his throat and motioned to the card in Parker's hand. "Why don't we..."

"Right. Yeah," eyeing Drax one last time, Parker looked at the card. "Oh, this one's easy. And it's for a wedge!"

Rubbing his hands together, Quill leaned in. "This is _my_ game. I'm an Earth expert."

"Okay, for the wedge. Who painted the Mona Lisa? Was it Vincent Van Gogh, Leonardo da Vinci, or Michelangelo?"

"Ha! Too easy." Quill looked at Mantis. "The Mona Lisa is this famous painting of this dude who was super depressed. Never smiled. Aaaannnd," he turned to Parker, "Michelangelo and Leonardo aren't painters, they're turtles. Giant crime fighting turtles. So the answer is Van Gogh! Wedge! Yeah!"

"What?" Parker laughed. " _None_ of that is right. And how do you know about the Ninja Turtles? The movies only came out a few years ago."

Quill scoffed. "Comic books, man." He held up his hands. "Wait… They make movies about comic book heroes now?****"

"Oh my god, yes. You have to see the new 'Justice League' movie. It's _terrible._ "

"Terrible? But Superman is the best hero in the universe," Quill put his fists on his hips and puffed out his chest.

"Except he died in the movie before and Batman had to bring him back to life. Well, not just Batman, but it doesn't matter because the Flash is the best." Parker held up his hands. "You won't win this fight."

"Sometimes I really miss Earth." Quill sighed, pulled out a new card, but flipped the hologram card around his fingers as if he were doing card tricks.***** "If we beat Thanos," he looked up, and around, " _when_ we do, and when we get Gamora back, I wanna show you guys my home." Drax nodded, still trying to be invisible.

Mantis smiled. "I would very much like that, Peter."

"Gamora's your girlfriend?" Parker dropped the red wedge into Quill's game piece and offered a small smile.

"Yeah. Thanos has her. He kidnapped her when she was young. Destroyed her planet. Raised her like his own daughter, tried to make her like him. But…" Swiping his hand over his face, Quill looked down. "She's not. She's nothing like him. And if he's hurt her, I'm going to kill him. I'll kill him anyway."

"Dude, I get it." Parker shifted from sitting on his knees to sitting with his legs crossed in front of him. "My girlfriend, well, she never really was, but I think she was into me. I was definitely into her. Anyway, her dad is this really bad guy. Like, not Thanos bad, but still, pretty bad. He collapsed a building on me. And stole one of Mr. Stark's planes. And we fought, and it was bad. There were explosions, and, like… whoa. But I still saved him. Because he loves his daughter. And everyone deserves a second chance."

"Not Thanos," Quill shook his head. "He doesn't give second chances, so he doesn't get one either. And he doesn't love anything or anyone."

They sat in silence a moment, before Parker nodded. An unspoken agreement between them.

"Quill, this insect child is a skilled fighter and wise for his age. He would be a most worthy addition to our crew." Drax rotated his shoulders, giving up on being invisible.

"What?" Parker laughed.

"Oh man, yes. You wanna be a Guardian of the Galaxy? That's what they call us. Because we're kickass rockstar heroes. We saved a planet, and I _held_ the power stone in my bare hand. We killed a planet, a different one, but the planet was actually a god, who was also my dad, so that was awkward, but still." Quill held out his hand. "I would love to have another Earthling. And your armor is just, the coolest. Does it play music?"

"It talks. And she's a she. Her name is Karen... But, _what?_ I can't go with you. Mr. Stark just made me an Avenger, and my Aunt May is back on Earth…" He looked back at Tony and Stephen. "And I…"

"Hey, I don't really like him, he's pretty much a dick," Quill motioned to Tony, "but your dad can come too, if you want. And your weird magical Uncle…"

"Mr. Stark isn't my dad," Parker laughed. "He's just… Well, I guess he's kinda… My mentor. And Doctor Strange is, well, he seems okay. He wants to save the universe and he has the time stone. And his cloak! Have you seen it? It's _alive!_ So weird."

"We uhm, interrupting something?" Tony stood behind Parker with his arms crossed over his chest. Stephen stood just behind him, still watching the portal intently.

"No, just passing time, sir." Parker pressed a button on his suit and the Trivial Pursuit hologram vanished.

"It's time, kids." Tony offered a hand up to Parker and then to Quill. "We'll do your plan. But no improvising. You got it?" Quill nodded and pressed the button to engage his helmet.

"Get to your places. Now." Strange closed the portal and turned to Tony.

"He's close?" Tony clenched his fists and activated his armor sequence.

"He's already here."

* * *

***A/N***

*I couldn't resist a Sherlock Holmes reference.

**I love the irreverent nicknames Stark gives everyone.

***I just saw "Solo: A Star Wars Story." This was borrowed from the scene with Beckett and Chewie playing a holographic boardgame.

****Fourth wall, what? If anyone in the MCU is self-aware it's Quill.

*****Chris Pratt (Quill) learned how to do card tricks while filming The Magnificent 7. Seemed like something Quill would do.


End file.
